Under cold water - Under cold water

Hodnotit mohou jen přihlášení uživatelé.

Alion dne 05.12.2006
2 ANNETE: Oh I am so pleased that You have read this :) And I thank You for it.
And I absolutely agree with Laura - dream for us, please!

Btw the idea with honey is so sweet and glamour, I love it :)

2 DANAE: I am honoured, You read this short story, Danae! Thank You for that and for your so lovely comment. *blush*
And thanks for your tip, I´m going to use the English check speller. I know about it but I dídn´t use it. I just wrote with Czech key board and with Czech "translation" (if You know what I mean :)). But now.... *evil grin*

Thank You!

---

Alion dne 05.12.2006
2Kaldora: I will give You more... I promise :)
I adore it, too. So I wanna write about it and when was complete the first paragraph I knew that I wrote it for You, so here is it... :)
Ah... yes, we can stand upright. (Just a little answer to your master-piece :))
Oh... one hour? I am absolutely stunned. And I am absolutly redden.

And I love your perfešt comments!

*dreamy and delighted smile*

---

Danae dne 05.12.2006
Actually, it was quite good. Yes, few mistakes here and there, but generally I could only applaud you for your imagination and bravery to post your story in English. Try some more.
And one little tip from another non-native speaker: if you have a newer version of Word, you can use their English check speller. It will spare you some work and few mistakes. (I use it a LOT ;)

---

Laura dne 05.12.2006
Oh Anette...please, tell us! Please...dream for us...dream for me...

---

Anette dne 05.12.2006
I'm lying in honey... My hair floats around my head like butterflies. *loves* I'm feeling like spending some time in water with someone who... no, I won't be dreaming. :)

---

Kaldora dne 05.12.2006
Oh...I see. Only for me...
I´m honoured you wanted to write and...give.
I definitely adore this possibilities. Waving in air on the edge of the knife.
Yeah, we were both down there. Somehow.
But now I feel you are supporting me, so we can stand upright. (Wanna catch your tears...wanna hold your tears...)
I only hope I can find it for us...
And you´re asking if it is nice?
Would I spend almost an hour trying to write some meaningful comment, if I didn´t like it?
I don´t think so...
No, I don´t like it.

I love that beautiful piece of yours!

*sighs happily*

---

Alion dne 04.12.2006
2Laura: She is so amazing. And this diction... I have no words for it. I am... thinking what am I... maybe I´m just tremulous.
I am in awe of her works, no doubt. And I am in awe of your works, too.

*hugs*
Just write.
We need it :)

---

Alion dne 04.12.2006
2Kaldora: I am shamefaced. You know, you don´t need the air. Don´t breathe for a moment.
I wanted to, no I needed to write something just for You. That´s the reason why it is in English. It´s only your.

Maybe it was up to You. The possibility.
Maybe there was Lucius. A water was maybe cold from him.
Maybe there was you. And You would like to catch a breathe and water come into your open lips.
And finally... there was me.

I can´t reply to your little fairy song. I am sorry for that but I can´t. It was so beauteous. I need to write it to my mind and to my heart.
It´s much goluptious then my little story. Thank You for it. Thank You for this moment.


I wanna catch your tears,
slight smile goes through,
I wanna hold your fears.
And can I ask you,
is this our true?

We can be blind,
And in the swirl,
But I know, You find,
true in this furl.

And may I ask you?
Is this piece nice?
Or is it cruel,
for me and for us?

*hugs; no tears just sleep*

---

Laura dne 04.12.2006
OMFG!!!! I´ve already known Kaldora is talented author, but that she is SUCH a GIFTED author...I´ve had no idea!
Am I the only one who are in awe of her work? I doubt so...
Girls...you both are incredible, I bow in front of you. Bravo!!!

---

Kaldora dne 04.12.2006
I am waiting. Wanna catch a breath. But it´s still impossible
No one, never gave me such a gift.
Yes, I was rewarded with beautifull stories, but I had to ask for them.
But You gave me this freely...

I was dreaming and crying a I knew it was up to Him.
And now I really do ask a question: who is under the swirling water, who am I and who are you?
Do you mind my opening this old, but still sore wound? Do you mind my need to know? May I ask for more? Can I stop feel so cold?

You´re bittersweat,
but I want to read.
What do you need,
I want to go plead,
for you.

We may be bleed,
be scared of the dread,
but when finding a creed,
our heart will be feed,
with peace.

Can you hear me, please?
Do you belive me in this?
Can I send you a kiss?

Can I thank you for this... enough?

*tears*

---

Alion dne 04.12.2006
2Laura: Yes, I have though about Englis and Czech version, because I have been so afraid. But I think this is a story for English, not for abundant Czech. Already I am doubtful.
In the meantime comments are possitive for me, I think, so maybe someday... :)
Yes, I agree, when I have began reading English LJ´s and blogs, my English has started improving, aww :)
Thanks!

2Silvie: Awk, thank You so much! Yes, I read only short stories because when it´s so long I lose in the text.
No, I thank You for your comment, it was pleasant :)

---

Silvie dne 04.12.2006
Perfect, I love short stories in English because novels are so hard for me. In fact my english is horiblle :o). I am so glad, that sombody make this...write in english. Thank you :o).

---

Laura dne 04.12.2006
I understand. It´s pretty brave to start writing in English even if you are not absolutely sure in this language. I´ve actually thought about this myself, but...I´m still scared. I don´t dare to write, even if I have an offer for beta-reading from my English friend. So...I admire you have even tried.
This is the best way you can learn something...try, fall down, then get up and go on. People can learn from theirs own mistakes, bravo.

---

Alion dne 04.12.2006
2Laura: No, I actually tried writing in English :) I think, there must be so many mistakes, but I love English and writing in it is some new for me and I like it so much.
Maybe I will put here the Czech version but... it won´t be the same. It´s just up to Kaldora :)

Ah, yes, of course I mean "wax", I´m going to update it.
Thanks for a very nice comment x)

---

Kaldora dne 04.12.2006
*Shivers and gasps*....I´ll write later....promise!

---

Laura dne 04.12.2006
Hey baby...you actually write in English? I didn´t know that. Pleasant surprise :) And very interesting story, I haven´t in fact understood all of this, but I have the general idea :)
Just a question: what is "wox"? In the second sentence...Hm...maybe you mean wax? I´m not sure...

---